Baby Bonding

 

Today's new mothers are surrounded by conflicting advice about what situation is best for them and their baby. From one side they are constantly bombarded with viewpoints that stress that it is utterly important for a mother to remain home with her children, and on the other hand are told to maintain their individuality by returning to the workplace. This leaves the stay-at-home-mom feeling totally useless and bored, and the working mom guilty, by failing to be with her children during this crucial child development stage. Which advice would you tend to follow?

Do children need their mothers' undivided attention until they grow older, or can working mothers' provide enough love and mental stimulation for their children to flourish fully?

As most would agree - all babies and children need a huge amount of devotion for them to be rewarded with being able to form loving relationships, that are crucial for later-on in life. But does this development depend solely on you constantly being at your child's side?

What is bonding?

Bonding - a close secure attachment between the baby and the people closest to him.
This is a vital part of a child's development, as every child needs a role-player and a secure attachment to begin the exploring process. Bonding is a gradual process rather than a once-off event, and although every baby is programmed to respond, it is definitely not one-sided and doesn't end with babyhood.

The means in which you bond with your little one, depends not on just what you do but how affectionately you do it and how you perceive your baby's responses to your actions - For example when feeding your baby, and he falls asleep, would you see this as a sign of contentment or disinterest? or when he cries when undressing him, a reaction to the cold or irritability? These signals if not correctly perceived tend to discourage the mother, making her feel that all her intended efforts at loving and comforting her 'pride' are all just done in vain - and yes, it could make the special relationship seem somewhat one-sided. Especially through this stage when your baby only tends to rely on reflex actions such as crying, sucking and smiling to win the attention of those around him.
It is for this reason that you should look upon this positively, so as to strengthen your sense of really being essential to your baby's world.

Ways in which to aid the bonding process

As stated earlier, bonding doesn't just happen overnight, and it takes a considerable amount of time to strengthen. This is why, one of the most basic requirements is perpetual loving contact with your baby over an extended period of time - without this there is little chance of ever developing a solid, totally loving bond between the two of you. This is not to say however, that contact alone will do the trick as it is unlikely that a child will form a strong bond with a person who is only involved with the normal routines of his life, such as feeding and changing. So therefore, it is important that you offer both stimulation and emotional security.

Usually children form the closest bonds with their mothers', but while it is important for the child to develop at least one strong bond, this doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be with you - although most doted mothers' will have it no other way. Babies and children can form a bond which is both emotionally and intellectually satisfying with anyone whom she receives regular attention from, and this can vary from, another member of the family to the daily caregiver. But this doesn't mean to say that because he has formed one bond that he can't go on to form others, and many working moms' fear that if the child becomes too attached to the childminder, she will somehow be left out in the cold. But this shouldn't be too much of a concern - as long as your child is receiving consistent stimulation and care from another tender and devoted person during the day, and you shower him with love in the evenings, you will be providing him with just as a secure, fulfilled upbringing as would a stay-at-home-mom. As the saying goes - Quality is better than Quantity!