This bout of depression commonly known as 'baby-blues' affects many women after the birth of their baby, and what should be a time of absolute bliss is turned into days filled with misery, tears and sometimes even a tendency towards suicide. During the early days of motherhood you may feel somewhat listless and rundown and may find that your role in loving and caring for your newborn bundle is not as rewarding as you expected it to be, this leads on to a feeling of total incompetence, blaming yourself for all the so called shortcomings. A truly dismal period that at it's worst can persist for many months putting you, your family and baby under immense stress.

Variations in hormone production are thought to be the major player in this psychologically debilitating illness, where there has been a significant drop in her oestrogen and progesterone levels since the birth, but there are also a number of other factors that can contribute to postnatal depression. The mother may have expected a totally different birthing experience to what she had, leading to resentment and even guilt. This is particularly true in women who had psyched themselves up for a natural birth, but then were 'forced' into having a caesarean, leaving them with feelings of inadequacy at not being able to partake in the birth of her baby.

The demands of a new baby may also go against what was anticipated, and sleepless nights, constant feeding, colic and coping with all other household duties will inevitably take it's toll. The hard work that is required of a new mother can be physically and emotionally draining. And although she was the focus of everybody's attention while still pregnant, she now has to take a back seat while everyone marvels at the baby, and this is very unfortunate as it is a time when she needs the utmost of attention and support. Added to this she may feel highly unattractive and her sex life as it seems, may have taken a 'permanent' turn towards nonexistency and there has been a drastic change in the lifestyle she was accustomed to before the baby's arrival, whether by losing a successful career or simply not coping with the added demand.

As stated earlier, depression can be mild, lasting for only a couple of days or very severe that may need the backing of a psychologist or psychiatrist to bring total relief. Women suffering from this severe form of depression tend to undergo the same symptoms as described for mild depression, only in a much stronger fashion. Irritability, tension and feelings of negativity towards the baby, often result in temporary outbursts, with the mother fearing that she will actually do bodily harm to the infant. Most mother's in this condition usually do no harm to their babies - caring, and feeding him, but without any eye contact or love.

If your family and friends or even spouse aren't particularly supportive, facing up to your new role can be quite overwhelming. Get in touch with a support group (this can be done through your doctor or local clinic), where you will meet other mothers in a similar situation to yours.
Eventhough there is a great need for support at this point, the mother may feel that she just wants to be left alone, there is nothing wrong with this, provided you don't remain a hermit all your life. Sometimes time spent alone, accompanied by a thorough crying session may help in giving you a more positive outlook, but left to your own devices too long may only darken your overhead cloud. Try, if you can to spend time with other people - laughter is contagious!

Helping you cope:

• You need all the help you can get at this stage, so accept all offers.
• Put all housework off for a while, napping when your baby does.
• Eventhough you may not be particularly fond of food at this stage, try keeping your energy levels up by following a sensible diet.
• Get Granny to baby-sit for a couple of hours, and plan a romantic, yet simple dinner.
• Make an effort to get dressed in the morning. Moping around, hair unkempt in your pyjamas all day, is enough to depress anyone.
• Force yourself out of the house, staring at four walls all day is bound to add to your depression.
• Take baby for a walk, meet with a friend, go window shopping or even organise a relaxing aromatherapy massage.
• Exercise always helps to relieve stress and will do wonders in regaining you pre-pregnancy shape.
• Make time for yourself, whether it be reading a book, wallowing in a bubble bath or simply watching a video.
• Talk to your husband, you may be surprised to know that he is also feeling the strain.
• And above all, remember that you are not alone, so seek assistance and you will soon start seeing the sunlight through that dark grey cloud.